How to Find Your Style and Build a Wardrobe You Actually Wear

If you’ve ever wondered how to find your style, you’re not alone. Finding your personal style sometimes feels like an endless journey. It’s hard to sift through the noise of new trends, “must-have” seasonal items, and the Pantone color of the year. 

For years I bought pieces because they were cute or came in a pretty color, with little thought about when I would actually wear them. And yet I kept reaching for the same pieces over and over: eyelet tops (I must have 20 different styles), flattering jeans (I love how a wide leg balances my shape best), cognac shoes and bags (a neutral that works year-round), and simple dresses that are easy to accessorize.

Once I finally paid attention to those patterns, everything shifted. Getting dressed became easier, impulse buying slowed way down, and my wardrobe started to feel like me instead of a collection of random pieces.

If you’re trying to figure out how to find your personal style, or your closet feels full but uninspiring, this guide walks through the exact process I use. It’s the same approach I’ve used in my own wardrobe, and shared with friends who all say the same thing afterward: why didn’t I do this sooner?

How to Find Your Style (Step-by-Step)

Finding your personal style starts with paying attention to what you already wear, and recognizing the patterns that naturally repeat. From there, you can define your style clearly and build a wardrobe that fits your real life, not trends or “someday” outfits.

Step 1: Pay Attention to What You’re Already Wearing

This step is the foundation of how to find your style, because it shows you what you already wear and love in real life. Before you buy anything new, start with what’s already in your closet. Over the next week or two, pay attention to the outfits you naturally reach for. The pieces that make you feel confident, comfortable, and like yourself. Not just what looks good in the mirror, but what feels right when you wear it.

Ask yourself:

• Which items do I grab most often?
  
• What outfits earn compliments without me trying?
  
• Which pieces make me feel “put-together” effortlessly?
  
• And which items never get worn?

When I did this, I realized I was wearing the same outfit combination of jeans, neutral sweaters, and tan loafers multiple times a week. Not because I was being lazy, but because the outfit just felt like me. 

Once you start noticing these patterns, things become clear. You’ll see the silhouettes you prefer (straight-leg or wide-leg jeans, A-line or sheath dresses), the colors and textures you gravitate toward, and the combinations that feel the most natural. These are the pieces you’ll build your wardrobe around.

Step 2: Create a Visual Reference

Once you start noticing what you’re naturally drawn to, the next step is to make it visual. Choose one place to save outfit inspiration like Pinterest, Instagram collections, or even a simple folder on your phone. Then save only the outfits that make you think, “I’d wear that.”

This isn’t about creating aspirational Pinterest boards filled with outfits you would never wear. It’s about seeing your personal style in a way that feels honest and wearable.

Keep it realistic:

• Don’t save looks just because they’re trending
  
• Choose looks that work for your everyday life
• Skip anything you’d only wear “someday”

Once you’ve saved around 20–25 images, step back and look for patterns. You’ll start to notice things like:

• The colors you gravitate toward (these are the most classic color combinations) 
• The silhouettes you prefer (more fitted or relaxed, tailored or flowing)
• Fabrics and textures you consistently like
• Whether you lean more minimal or enjoy statement details

When I did this, everything clear. I kept saving classic shapes, soft neutrals, elevated basics, and subtle prints like muted florals, stripes, and lots of eyelet. Seeing it all together confirmed what I already felt about my style, but hadn’t clearly defined yet.

Your board will show you your style in a way your closet can’t. It highlights what you’re naturally drawn to, without the noise of trends or the pressure to buy something new.

Step 3: Define Your Style in 3–5 Words

Defining your style words is one of the most important steps of finding your style. They give you a clear direction for creating outfits, shopping, and long-term wardrobe building. The key is to describe your real style, not aspirational traits or personality words. Look at what shows up consistently in your closet and on your Pinterest board, and describe that.

Some examples:

• Timeless, tailored, polished
  
• Relaxed, neutral, comfortable
  
• Feminine, romantic, vintage-inspired
  
• French-inspired, refined, understated
  
• Modern, streamlined, monochrome
  
• Preppy, classic, put-together

My Style Words: Timeless, French-inspired, Feminine

Timeless: I avoid pieces that will look dated quickly and focus on styles I know I’ll wear year after year. 

French-inspired: Neutrals, stripes, simple silhouettes, quality over quantity. I gravitate toward brands like Sézane and pieces that feel refined and understated.

Feminine: Soft details without being too frilly. Muted florals, subtle ruffles, dresses styled with boots, and delicate jewelry are all staples in my wardrobe.

Before buying something new, I always ask:

• Does this fit my style words?
  
• Will I wear it often, or just occasionally?
  
• Can I style it with 3 pieces I already own?

For example an eyelet shirt can easily work with jeans, linen pants, and tailored shorts.

This filter helps eliminate 90% of impulse buys. And it’s flexible. Your style words can evolve over time as your taste and lifestyle change. But having a starting point makes getting dressed feel easier, more intentional, and much less overwhelming.

Step 4: Identify Your Non-Negotiables

Your style has to fit your real life, not just your Pinterest board. Most of us wear only a small portion of what’s in our closet. The reason isn’t usually taste. It’s the details we ignore. The things we think we can live with, but never actually do.

These are your non-negotiables. They’re the things you think you can live with, but never really do. The shoes that look great but hurt, the fabrics that feel itchy, the pieces that require more effort to make work. Once you’re honest about them, it becomes much easier to understand why some items get worn on repeat while others just sit untouched.

Here’s how to identify yours:

Lifestyle Non-Negotiables

Ask yourself how you actually get dressed most days. For example:

• If you walk a lot, shoes need to be comfortable enough for real mileage
• If you run errands, meet friends for lunch, and work from home, outfits need to feel polished but casual. Not office-only or overly dressy.
• If you rarely attend formal events, investing heavily in occasion wear won’t serve you long-term.

My reality:
I spend most of my week in jeans, knits, and flat shoes. That’s why my wardrobe is built around elevated everyday pieces like coats, sweaters, and shoes that work for real life, not just special moments.

Comfort Non-Negotiables

These are the deal-breakers that determine what actually gets worn, and what quietly sits in your closet untouched. You can love how something looks, but if it fails one of these tests, it won’t make it into regular rotation.

Common comfort non-negotiables I see over and over:

• Fabrics that itch, cling, or wrinkle the moment you sit down
• Silhouettes that feel restrictive (high necklines, tight waistbands, cropped tops)
• Shoes that look great but aren’t comfortable enough for real life

For me if a fabric is itchy or stiff, I won’t wear it, even if it’s beautiful. That’s why I gravitate toward soft knits, breathable cottons, and wool blends that feel good on the body. I’ve learned that when something is even slightly uncomfortable, I won’t wear it.

The same goes for shoes. I love a polished flat or loafer (like these Tory Burch loafers I have in 3 colors), but if I can’t walk in it for a few hours (errands, lunch, moving between places) I’ll never reach for it. That’s why I invest in comfortable, well-made shoes from brands I trust, like Margaux (my favorite for flats), Inez (incredibly comfortable heels and boots), and Sarah Flint (refined and supportive).

Comfort doesn’t always mean casual, it means wearable. And wearable pieces are the ones that actually get worn.

Maintenance Non-Negotiables

Be honest about what you’ll realistically care for. Ask yourself:

• Will I actually dry clean this?
• Am I willing to hand wash it?
• Does it wrinkle so badly that I avoid wearing it?

If the care is too high maintenance, it won’t become part of your regular rotation.

Budget Non-Negotiables

This is where intentional wardrobes really come together.

• Where you invest: coats, shoes, bags, denim
• Where you save: basic tees, seasonal tops, trend accents
• What’s worth it long-term: pieces worn weekly, not occasionally

For me, coats and shoes are always worth investing in. They’re worn constantly and define an outfit more than almost anything else. Your non-negotiables act as a filter. They keep you from buying pieces that look good in theory but don’t work in your real-life.

These are examples of capsule pieces that meet my non-negotiables and quietly earn their place in my wardrobe:

If you want help deciding what’s actually worth investing in, I break that down in detail here:
👉 Timeless Pieces Worth Investing In

 Step 5: Build a Capsule Foundation

Once you know your style and your non-negotiables, the next step is simplifying (not starting over).

You don’t need a brand-new wardrobe. You just need to take a closer look at what you already love and actually wear. I think of this as my foundation: about 10–15 pieces that feel like me and work together without much thought. These are the pieces that always feel right and quietly do the heavy lifting in my closet.

As a starting point, this usually looks like:

Pants/Jeans: Two or three pairs in silhouettes you truly love and wear often. For me, that’s dark wide-leg jeans, straight-leg jeans I can wear comfortably with flats, and a pair of camel pants that fit just right.

Tops: Three or four versatile staples you can wear on their own or layer easily. Things like a white button-up with feminine details, cashmere sweaters, and simple tees.

Layering pieces: Two pieces that instantly elevate everything else. A great coat, a cardigan, or a blazer can completely change how an outfit feels.

Shoes: Two pairs you reach for constantly. One everyday pair and one slightly more polished option.

Bag: One classic everyday bag that works with almost everything.

For me, my foundation looks like this: dark wide-leg jeans, straight-leg ankle jeans, camel pants, a camel wrap coat, cashmere sweaters in neutral and soft tones, a white button-up with subtle feminine details, Margaux flats, black ankle boots, and an everyday tote.

These are the pieces I wear most often. Everything works together, so I can create multiple outfits without thinking too hard. Once your foundation is in place, shopping gets simpler too. Every new piece either fits your wardrobe, or it doesn’t.

Step 6: Shop With Your Style Filter

Once you’ve defined your personal style and built a solid foundation, shopping feels completely different. Every new piece runs through a quick mental filter, and that’s what keeps your wardrobe cohesive and prevents those impulse buys that never quite work once they’re home.

Before I buy anything, I pause and ask myself:

Does this fit my style words?
If a piece doesn’t align with your three to five style words, it likely won’t work long-term, even if it’s beautiful.

Can I wear it with at least three pieces I already own?
If it requires building an entirely new outfit around it, it’s probably not the right piece.

Will I reach for this often, or just occasionally?
Occasional pieces like a cocktail dress or a special coat are fine. But the bulk of your wardrobe should be made up of pieces you reach for often.

Does it meet my non-negotiables?
This is where real life comes in. I always consider:

• Is it comfortable enough to wear all day?
• Will I realistically care for it the way it requires?
• Does it fit my budget and my lifestyle?

Is this timeless, or am I okay with it being a trend?
Trendy pieces are fine here and there. Your foundation, though, should stay timeless. Those are the pieces you’ll wear the most.

The Cost-Per-Wear Test

Quality usually wins when you know you’ll truly wear something.

• One $400 coat worn 200 times over five years = about $2 per wear
• Three $100 coats replaced every winter = far more expensive in the long run

This is exactly how I decide what’s worth buying now, and what I skip without regret.

When your style filter becomes second nature, shopping feels easier. You’ll walk into a store and immediately know what’s for you and what isn’t. That’s when you know your style is really working.

These are recent purchases that passed my style filter and have quickly earned their place in my wardrobe:

How to Know When You’ve Found Your Style

You’ll know your style is working when these things start happening:

• Getting dressed takes 5 minutes, not 30. You’re not trying on five outfits every morning. You grab pieces and they work together.
• Impulse buying decreases. You see something cute but pause, because you already have what works, and you know if it fits your style words.
• Compliments feel aligned. People say, “You always look so put-together” or “I love your style”, not “That’s a fun outfit!” They’re recognizing your consistent aesthetic.
• Your closet feels calm. You wear 80% of what you own. The rest are pieces you’re phasing out or keeping for specific occasions.
• Shopping feels easier. You walk into a store and immediately know what’s for you and what’s not, without overthinking.
• You feel like yourself. This is the biggest one. You’re not trying to dress like someone else or chase trends. 

What to Do With Clothes That Don’t Fit Your Style

Don’t purge everything right away. Give yourself a few months to live with your new foundation and see what naturally falls out of rotation. Once you start getting dressed more intentionally, the pieces that don’t belong become obvious on their own. 

Let it go if:

• You haven’t worn it in 6+ months (and it’s in season)
• It doesn’t match your 3–5 style words
• You’re keeping it “just in case”
• It’s trendy and already dated

Keep only:

• Pieces that truly fit your personal style
• Items you reach for regularly
• Clothes that work easily with your foundation

Once your foundation is set, add new pieces slowly. Think of each new piece as an extension of what you already wear. If it works with at least three items you already own, it’s usually a good sign.

For example, I invested in this burgundy bag last year. Because my wardrobe is built around lots of neutrals and denim, it works easily with what I already own while still feeling special. The color adds depth to simple outfits, and the slouchy silhouette keeps it effortless and very me.

Final Thoughts: How to Find Your Style

Finding your personal style isn’t about reinventing yourself. It’s about noticing what already works, recognizing it, and building from there. Once you understand your style, getting dressed feels easier, shopping becomes more intentional, and your wardrobe finally starts to work together.

Start small by paying attention to the outfits you naturally reach for this week. That’s where your style already lives. You just need to notice it. And if you love timeless, repeatable outfits, you may also enjoy seeing how these ideas come together in a French capsule wardrobe built around classic staples.

If you’re building your wardrobe more intentionally this year, the timeless fashion pieces below are the ones I rely on most and a great place to start. For more everyday style guidance, outfit ideas, and thoughtful finds, you can also join my weekly newsletter.